social

Real Life & Online Data: Something Has to Give

eric — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 13:25:14 -0600

When furthering convergence of real life with online data something has to give. People will cut back on something. Commenting, for one, has become too noisy on blogs, in my opinion. People will trim the fat and time involved in managing comments which typically are negative or distract entirely from the information presented.

I don't believe that ALL commenting is bad. I just see that more people are seeing how time-consuming it is to manage and need to cut back on offering that as a communication method on their website.

Maybe it's just me, but I can see people starting to utilize Facebook (and maybe Twitter, although it seems more like an announcement channel rather than a great place to have inclusive dialogue) for comments to keep readers from being distracted from the original article.

I can see something more like this at the bottom of some blogs: "Want to discuss this with others? Head to the Facebook fan page to hash it out with others." Then you just have to check it when you want to and get directly involved or distracted from more important things in life.

I may turn off commenting on this blog, I don't know. Hardly anyone reads it, anyway.

It's just a thought on a trend I've noticed. *shrugs*

Sunday Morning Challenge: How's Your People Detector?

eric — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 09:36:14 -0600

I was in Taco Villa waiting on my breakfast burrito to be made, this morning (there was a long line in the drive-thru so I went inside). They are usually fast in getting things to you, but it was taking slightly longer, today. It wasn't a big deal to me, but what I saw was impressive.

One of the managers filling the orders noticed I had been standing there for a couple of minutes longer and looked around to see if my order was made yet. She knew my name as we go in a lot, but they always ask when you give your order. (Come to think of it, the lady at the register said, "Hello, Eric." when I walked in.) When the manager looked around and checked with the drive-thru crew and, sure enough, my order had been put by the window. She quickly corrected it and got me on my way.

God brought an amazingly convicting thought to mind, "Why is it, that as a church, we do not notice people around us like we should? Why do we not notice the little things going on, even in church, to see who needs to be ministered to, needs help finding a class or just needs a friend in general?" Out of habit, a lot of us wake up on Sunday mornings, get the kids up, fed and going and we rush off to our classes. We talk with the same people, we go get our Dublin Dr. Pepper, coffee, etc., but we don't notice others that might need some encouragement.

This leads me to my challenge:

I challenge us to make a concerted effort to introduce ourselves to three people on Sunday morning (whether that is in the children's department, at the vending machine, or in between services and Sunday School). Make note (whether mental or on paper) of their names. There will be another challenge next Sunday.

Let's see what God does by getting outside our social microcosm and reaching out to others. We're missing out on a lot of opportunities to minister to others, be ministered to ourselves and forge some new friendships.

Are you willing to test your People Detector?

Openness: Offline & Online

eric — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 22:38:34 -0600

Openness seems to be a popular topic or something I'm more in tune with lately.

Michael Wilson, CEO of Small World Labs has a post about his personal life that made me think about how we approach offline and online relationships.

I first saw mention of his post on Twitter and after reading his article, another poster on Twitter was asking for prayer for her 4-day old niece who was having tests run on her heart. I recognized that this brought her online, Twitter relationship to a different level with most people as she just shared something personal like MIchael did. I was more than happy to pray for her niece and told her so. Now she has a stronger bond with some people in the Twitter-verse.

I think most of us would agree that what you write online has it's rewards and consequences, depending on what you write and who is reading. It takes time to get comfortable with a medium, group of people or individuals to go out on a limb. Typically, I think we have to have something happen, excellent or terrible, that pushes us to write or tell someone about.

Obviously, caution is advised when saying anything online just as you would to someone in person. We typically go through this dance of seeing what others are comfortable with and feeling them out for where they are or what they are like. Once we've found out how they prefer to dance (if at all), we're free to breathe easier and go a little deeper in our conversation and relationship.

Like most married couples, my wife and I did the same thing. We met at a college church function at a park in Amarillo (Olsen Park). We've often joked about the content of our initial conversations. One of the earlier conversations turned to the topic of home-schoolers. Jennifer said that most home-schoolers she had ever known were rather strange and always socially inept. She laid it out there. I told her I was home-schooled from 5th grade through high school. I still give her a hard time about that. Then she typically changes the subject by reminding me that I pegged her with a tennis ball from across the court (it was a wild serve and an accident, but I think she still wonders). I guess I took the phrase "hitting on" literally, what with me being socially inept and all.

Anyway, Jennifer and I started off as friends and spent a lot of time talking to each other, often late at night. The more time we spent with each other, the more comfortable we became. The more comfortable we became, the more we trusted each other. Almost nine years of marriage and three kids later, we still stay up late talking now. Back then, staying up late was the choice of a couple of college students. Now, we do it because with the kids, church activities, and running businesses of our own, it's hard to get the time to talk otherwise.

All of this came about because we made a conscious effort to be open with each other. I believe the same is and can be utilized online as well. If a company or organization takes the stiff, aloof approach to online relationships, not many, if any, people will respond well to them. There's a certain balance of enough information to be interesting and not so much that you're turned off. In order to generate more interest in something you are involved in or just yourself in general, you have to be willing to share what's going on, at some point and time. That doesn't mean you take over and never let others respond. I've shared this a lot lately, but growing up, I had a pastor, that always said, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

This is true for personal and business relationships. The best relationships and experiences I've had came from sharing my thoughts, feelings, and experiences and also listening to others about their own. The people that I trust most are also the ones that have trusted me with their personal and business highs and lows.

How about you? How do you measure how much information to share? How do you translate the offline conversation techniques to an online medium? I'm curious to hear from others (yeah, both of you that actually read this blog).

Amended

Some of the things I said in my comments to Michael seemed fitting to repeat here:

There's two sides to openness that I've learned to recognize:
I Need Help: If I don't share my problem, nobody will know I need help. If nobody knows I need help, nobody will offer to help me.

I Can Help: If someone opens up about a problem, acknowledge it and ask if they want help. Don't assume they do. Some people want to vent while others are seeking help. If you can't offer the help they need, introduce them to someone that can. By doing so, you are helping them.